The Bereaved Mother

“Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.”

-Author Unknown

Panic Attack Insomniac

I can't sleep

For in the dark I panic

Fear consuming my soul

And I can't stand it

I sit up and scream

A silent sound nobody hears

Trembling in vain

To the same dream I've had for years

Too much loss

In too short of a life

It stabs at me

Like a dull edged knife

I have thoughts and dreams

About things nobody knows

Like where do we really go

When it's the end of our show

My heart races

At a pace much too fast

I sit here wondering

How much longer can this last

Memories fill my head

So many things I'd like to change

If I could just go back in time

Choosing with things to rearrange

Being grateful for what I have

Never replaces what I've lost

Your death was inescapable

I'm still dealing with its cost

Grief knows no boundaries

In the silence I will weep

As the darkness surrounds me

And everyone else is fast asleep

Copyright Kerin Lee 2012, All Rights Reserved

Please do not use without my written permission.


(Vigil from October 15th)

Day 3 of 30 Days of Being Thankful

I'm thankful for Caleb.


(Caleb - Left & Jacob - Right)

Caleb is my first born and is 7 years old.
He saved me from a suicidal past of dark days where I let my depression consume me.
Once I knew he was to be it he lit up my world and helped me overcome my demons.
If it were not for Caleb I might not be here today. ♥

Day 2 of 30 Days of Being Thankful

I'm thankful for my other half Gary and that God placed him into our lives.

We've been through so much in such a short period of time,

more than most couple endure 10 years,

but since we've already been through some of the worst,

it can only get better ♥ 

Day 1 of 30 Days of Being Thankful

I am simply thankful just to be alive.


(Me in Las Vegas, 2011)

I thank God for each and everyday that He allows me to live on this Earth.
That He allows me to be with the ones I love.
I have many people I love and miss in Heaven,
but know that once my time is up we will have an eternity together.