Porcelain Heart

Broken heart one more time

Pick yourself up, why even cry

Broken pieces in your hands

Wonder how you'll make it whole

You know, you pray

This can't be the way

You cry, you say

Something's gotta change

And mend this porcelain heart of mine

Someone said "A broken heart

Would sting at first then make you stronger"

You wonder why this pain remains

Were hearts made whole just to break

You know, you pray

This can't be the way

You cry, you say

Something's gotta change

And mend this porcelain heart of mine

Creator only You take brokenness

And create it into beauty once again

You know, you pray

This can't be the way

You cry, you say

Something's gotta change

And mend this porcelain heart of mine

-BarlowGirl

Safe

How did you know
That I'm all alone today
Oh, I feel so scared
And I want to go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming

I'm not gonna hide
I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars
And show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters
And the bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe

Drowning the tears
Won't make it go away
It's robbing my soul
I'm taking this mask off my face
To discover love
And uncover all
It means to live and breathe

I'm not gonna hide
I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars
And show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters
And the bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe

When you uncovered, I discovered
I am not afraid
But when we're hiding
We end up fighting
To be safe

I'm not gonna hide
I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars
And show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters
And the bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe

-Natalie Grant

Day 9-16 of 30 Days of Being Thankful

We're had SO much CRAP going on...
that I haven't kept up well with my 30 Days of Being Thankful
BUT I keep telling myself I still need to take time to be thankful.

Day 9 - I'm thankful that our power was turned on.
This is a big part of getting moved into our new house
and something we have been struggling to make happen.
We had to pass a house inspection first which,
contrary to popular belief, is a lot harder than it sounds.
It's never felt so amazing to flip on a light-switch.

Day 10 - Our house was broken into, AGAIN!
I am thankful that we still have our lives
even though they've taken almost everything I have.
They tried kicking in our door and failed...
They tried picking our locks and broke their pick in the door...
So they kicked in our skylight and came in through the bathroom.

Day 11 - I am thankful for this wall post I got on Facebook,
"THANK YOU & Gary from the bottom of my heart....
I checked my p.o. box and had a surprise waiting for me...
I LOVE IT and it will always be a part of me....
I don't know how you two do it....
But I Love You Both Kerin ♥ ♥"
From my friend Kim Harris who I had sent a surprise gift to.
It really made my day that she to receive such a sweet message
showing how thankful she was for something so small.

Day 12 - I am thankful for good praying friends.
I post asking prayers for Gary's job interview on Facebook.
He didn't get the job, but we had an outpouring amount of prayer.
It was amazing to me to have so many people showing support.

Day 13 - I am thankful for good music.
When I'm upset, stressed, depressed, or whatever...
music takes me to another place and helps me through.

Day 14 - I am thankful for kind strangers.
On the 6th a business owner contacted me
and told me that someone "secret"
had contacted her in regards to paying for me to have
a bracelet from her as a Christmas present.
The 14th, she contacted me again to say it had shipped.

Day 15 - I am thankful for good doctors.
When I got home from my 38 week doctor appointment...
I came home to find Mikayla, my 8 yr old stepdaughter,
in bed sobbing unable to move much without assistance.
We rushed her to be seen where she was had a small surgery.
What we thought had been a mosquito bite had turned into
a big huge nasty infected abscess that had to be drained.
After lots of painful shoes to number her up...
they made about a 2 inch long incision in her sweet little hip...
then applied pressure to squeeze out all of the bad stuff.
She sobbed and had to be held down during the entire thing...
BUT luckily she is says it feels much better now.

Day 16 - I am thankful for a nice warm bed.
So most people do not know that Gary and I sleep outside.
We sleep in a small pop-up camper with no power or heat.
This is a temporary thing until we can get moved into our house
and by temporary I mean it's been over a year now.
The inlaws went on a mini vacay to the beach for the weekend...
SO... we get to sleep in the nice warm house in a nice warm bed.
It's amazing how much you take for granted a nice warm bed
until you no longer have one to sleep in each night.